November 2024 Month in Review
Hi loves,
Welcome to Sagittarius szn š in my biased option, the best season of the zodiac (it may or may not be my birthday monthābut Iāll hold off on reflecting on entering the last year of my 20s in my next newsletter). In line with holiday cheer, Sagittarius is fun, a little bit of a party girl, here for the adventure and the plot.
Sounds about right ;)
Current musings:
In October, I shared openly about heartbreak in Opening My Heart ā Raw & Unfiltered Thoughts About My Life.
And, since sharing my heart, Iāve felt an incredible energetic lift. My heart will always feel the grief of this breakup, this loss in friendship and lover. And yet, Iām starting to feel more clarity in moving forward and the forking of our paths. The heaviness and grief doesnāt feel so all consuming.
With more time and space, Iāve been coming into the energy of finding more and more gratitude for our separation. And, it feels good to share some insights Iāve gained and an energetic update.
š¹ I am grateful to be immersed back into my own life. As overwhelmed as I have been with teaching more, it feels so good to say yes to life giving opportunities. The pain of long distance was affecting me more than I realized. It felt like I was only half here for such a long timeāthe whole of me always longing to be with him. I wasnāt present to my life.
Iāve been taking interest in showing up againā¦ on my mat, in community, at events. Iāve had more energy to be me, to find joy dancing with friends and afternoons in the gym and meeting new people.
š¹ Another embodied lesson I will carry with me is the amazement that all my dreamsāmy greatest and scariest dreamsācome to fruition. To love someone so incredibly much, more than I ever allowed myself to admit before we started dating that last go-around, yet didnāt dare to wish or pine for it. And against everything, I got to fully and recklessly loveābeyond my wildest imagination, the greatest desire of my heart was made manifest.
And to live in the power of that feeling was incredible. Nothing in life is āoff the tableā for me. My greatest desires will inspire my life.
Just taking a moment to breathe into this energy.
Nothing is out of bounds. If my heart calls me forward, the universe will provide, matching life energy with like energy.
š¹ Everything that happened, all the emotionāthe love and the griefāwasnāt for nothing, it was for everything. It was for the unfolding of my possibility. And Iām so grateful and amazed at both the depths and heights I am able to feel.
Iām very grateful that the intensity has subsided, Iām no longer experiencing the bottomless waters of grief. And realizing that even the tidal waves are a part of the juiciness of being alive. That is the gift of depthā¦ that I have always craved.
And, understanding that everything comes in waves. Just because I now have more space doesnāt mean the grief is gone. Some moments are still really fucking hard, but theyāre a reminder at the depth that I can feel and love.
š¹ Heartbreak no longer scares me. I know that I can hold myself in the greatest pain Iāve ever felt. The possibility of someone leaving me will never stop me from fully loving them. Because to love that deep makes heartbreak a joy. Itās the swing of the pendulum. Canāt have one without the other.
š¹ Ultimately, while I have a new understanding and appreciation for relational baggage, Iāve learned that I refuse to hold onto all the hurt and distrust. I intentionally feel all the pain and aching as it presents itself. Iāve never been this heartbroken in my life, and Iāve lived enough life to know that this has been the most pivotal romantic relationship Iāve had thus far.
The residual sticky emotion is the disappointment at the loss of something so beautiful, the loss of a shared future and vision. I still feel some anger at how things ended. And yet, Iām learning to trust the masculine againāa dance I must learn with every person I interact with. Iām not going to let this experience color the way I interact with others, thatās not fair to either of us.
All I can do is feel it all and hold myself in compassion. I choose to take baby steps forward. I choose to stay open and curious to life because thatās what makes life interesting and worth living in my eyes.
Accessing this side of self, the opportunity to see the silver lining and find gratitude in all actions, is something that Iāve been missing for months. These feelings and thoughts are the lust for living that light me through life.
Baby, weāre back.
Highlights included:
Cutting my hairāI cut it on the new moon (not intentionally, but life has a funny way of being in alignment), signifying new beginnings. Partly for an energetic cleanse, but the real reason is Iāve been experiencing a lot of hair loss (like Iāve lost 1/3 of my hair density). I felt like my long hair just wasnāt serving the way it used to. Itās been a bit of an adjustment. I donāt love it yet, but at least I no longer hate it. Some days itās really cute, and others I just try not to think about it š«
Qveen Herby concertāsheās been my top artist for years! I saw her for the first time at ACL and a month later she came to Phoenix. Live music gives me life.
Lots of dancing with friendsāI repeat, live music gives me life. And dancing is one of the best forms of medicine Iāve found.
Visiting family š¦
Month in review:
This past month I revisited some old writing I started on exploring my thoughts on consciousness, and finally finished it.
If you missed my last post, check it out:
Energy & Consciousness = Oneness
This was a fun deep dive into my errant thoughts on different levels of consciousness and how everything relates to each other, and how with awareness we can expand our own capacity for consciousness.
In line with the theme of coming back to myself, I would like post more consistently to Substack. Iām so proud of myself for maintaining at least two posts per month, and Iām striving to post two longer thought pieces per month, in addition to whatever poetry comes through and my monthly wrap up. But like fine wine, good writing takes time, and Iām still figuring out my capacity to capture my thoughts eloquently and share them in a manner that my perfectionist side is okay with.
In non-writing related news, Iām adding more classes to my teaching schedule. You can now relax with me on Monday evenings at Camelback Inn for sound meditation.
I fell in love with sound meditation during my yoga teacher training. Itās such a fun way to meditate because there is a little more stimulation than just focusing on a mantra or non-attachment to thoughts. The different tones of crystal bowls has a way of bringing synergy to erratic energy. Itās very peaceful and sometimes psychedelic š«
Itās no secret that yoga is near and dear to my heart. It has been my awakening, my path to Becoming. It is such an honor to share this lineage and practice with others.
If you are interested in deepening your practice, I offer one-on-one sessions focused on embodied understanding of asanas, tailored to your goals, combined with yogic teachings and esoteric philosophy.
Catch me in community:
Sound Meditation at Camelback Inn with Metta Yoga, Mondays at 4:30
75min Vinyasa Yoga at Metta Yoga, Tuesdays at 6:00
Sound Meditation at Andaz with Metta Yoga, Thursdays at 4:30
Vinyasa Yoga at Black Swan Yoga, Saturdays at 2:30
DM me for a guest pass š«¶š»
Letās get flowy š¤øāāļø I teach a ton! Like 5-10 times per week. I post my weekly teaching schedule to Instagram :) follow me there to be in the know!
2025 offerings:
Devoted Womenās Retreat with Untamed & Untethered
Tulum, MX
February 13-18, 2025
Join us for an immersive experience dripping in self love, union, and purpose. Overlooking the Caribbean ocean and nestled in the jungles of Mexico, women are invited to remember the sacredness of Self, meet new layers of sensuality, and uncover their deepest potential.
Ceremony of Self
Ceremony of Self is an intimate six-week online immersion to reclaim your devotion to self, embody your sacred sensuality, and activate the most vibrant version of you through self love, so that you can experience living in the ceremony of life.
We will be diving into self love, mirror work, self worship, altar building, self expression, and more!
Enrollment opens soon! Stay tuned for more details.
Emotional Alchemy
I hosted my first embodiment and creative writing workshop, Emotional Alchemy & Self Expression, back in August. This was a well-loved workshop, and I will be hosting it again! Stay tuned for updates.
āMadisonās Emotional Alchemy workshop was everything I didnāt realize I needed. Starting with community and flowing into an ecstatic dance had me pushing against all of the boundaries I hold myself to in my daily life. Feeling free and ready to explore all sides of myselfāincluding my sharp edges, Madison held us as we dove into poetry. Written word is a powerful, living thing. Often times difficult to navigate its trenches, Madison held the light for us to weave our own paths in word and poetry. Creating something beautiful, together. The experience, the energy, and the passion is something Iāve carried in my heart since. Aho.ā
-Jennie M.
āEmotional Alchemy was so entirely fulfilling from beginning to end. Led by Madisonās intuitive, calming and wise presence, she provided a route into our deepest depths. Everything from ecstatic dancing and slow movements of all kinds, I got to really tap into my body and voice leading me deep into my heart. I was continuously inspired to find my innermost sacred thoughts and dreams. By the end I had been able to really put into writing what my soul led me to say. Her sound bath, was so touching and I felt connected with each beautiful heart in the room, and really felt reunited with my inner most knowing! I left there with such a beautiful connection to my own creativity and Iām so grateful to have had Madiās loving guidance to return to my own creative spirit once again!! Itās beautiful to be led, seen and witnessed on all of Madisonās guided journeys! She is a such an inspiration always, in so many ways, love you!! Thank you thank you thank youš„°ā
-Michelle B.
One-on-One Yoga Teacher Mentorship
This offering is intended for new yoga teachers recently finished with YTT or about to finish, who donāt know what to do with their certification.
Taking this journey myself a few years ago, I went from teaching one class per week while working full time at a marketing/advertising agency to launching a retreat and womenās empowerment business, quitting my corporate job, teaching yoga at multiple studios and to private clients, becoming adjunct faculty, and facilitating community events, among a host of other offerings.
If I can do it, you can too!
This mentorship will include weekly check ins, accountability, goal setting, diving into limiting beliefs and overcoming obstacles, finding your voice and niche as a teacher, and personal access to pick my brain on how to create a sustainable life that you love!
If this sounds interesting, please reach out!
Lastly, one of my love languages is making playlists. Thereās just something about music that touches and moves me. If you need inspiration for your yoga classes, or just want to listen to something new, I share all my class and workshop playlists here :)
Check out my some of my favorite playlists from November:
Letās take a deep breath inā¦ deep breath out. Just know that whatever life is throwing at you, it is for you. And with some time and space (perspective) we can find gratitude for all things.
With love,
Madison