Part II: Meeting Polarity with Radical Presence

This is Part II of a discussion on masculine and feminine energetics and how the polarity of energy has the opportunity to reveal deeper parts of self.

This is the second half to a discussion on masculine and feminine energetics. Part II specifically focuses on the polarity of energy and meeting polarity with radical presence to connect at the soul level and reveal opportunities for growth.

Part I gives context to masculine and feminine energetics to create a framework for this conversation. If you are not very familiar with the polarity of energetics, I highly recommend reading Part I first.

Read Part I here!

My goal with this article is to show lived experiences of energetic polarity and how this has revealed to me deeper parts of self, manifesting growth in my life and relations. Understanding the interplay of energy has been integral to unveiling unconscious patterning and surrendering to being fully met and seen.

How did I get here? I had a moment… well, I’ve had many moments and I’ve started to connect the dots on how this underlying energy affects everything we do. I’m not exaggerating. Recently, I’ve experienced a handful of moments being faced at the soul level and was revealed and reflected to deep reveries of repressed energy and unconscious patterning.

Meeting in Polarity

While we encompass both energies, there’s something to be said about playing with the polarity of energy with others. As predominately feminine, I find this polarity in interacting with men.

But for me to truly meet someone in polarity, they need to embody divine masculine energy. This allows us to meet on the same level, and further, enables me to feel safe in their presence. Through their integration of feminine energy, wounds do not affect the interaction. This creates the opportunity to meet each other on the soul level, not as man and woman meeting, but as soul and soul meeting.

I have a handful of close girlfriends who I find this deep presence with, we match each other energetically and are at similar stages in our growth and embodiment. They are some of the most beautiful mirrors in my life, but the reflection is feminine. We reflect the same to each other vs. reflecting the polarity of energy.

For the reasons stated above, I deeply desire masculine friendship. Only two men have genuinely met me at the soul level. And each has been a mirror to deep revelations about my own masculine-feminine energetics, revealing to me nuanced patterns of behavior that I didn’t realize had a hold on me. In retrospect, what they reveled was so clearly affecting my life. Because the reflection was through the masculine, it clearly revealed those repressed reservoirs of energy within.

Personal Masculine Wounding

Like most people, I have areas of growth when it comes to both feminine and masculine energy. When I’m being fully reflected back to, growth is called forward again and again by the divine masculine, challenging me to work through it in radical presence to the underlying energy of my uncomfortability.

I’m caught in a pattern! Unsurprisingly, this is a pattern that affects many of my feminine friends. Without getting too deep into my own melodrama, I love attention, but I struggle with receiving attention. Not wanting to be seen is a protective mechanism.

I worked through this, then like an onion, another layer was peeled back, revealing a deeper wounding. Not just attention, I struggle with the male gaze when presented as sexual and romantic attraction. Why? I’ve always felt like I’ve been projected upon as the object of desire, rather than seen as human. This attraction is inevitably brought to my attention, and when it isn’t reciprocated, the dynamic of relating changes.

This wounding specifically comes up in male friendships. When attraction is addressed, it feels like there was an ulterior motive to being my friend. As in, friendship wasn’t their goal, rather a romantic relationship was. In their acknowledgement of adoration, it feels possessive, as if they think they already “have” me because we’re friends, or they already lay claim to some special bond between us.

The way I perceive male attention is still operating from a wounded place, because I still feel uncomfortable with sexual energy directed toward me when I don’t reciprocate it—this isn’t on me to appease the other person, rather, I need to find strength in instilling my boundary. This wounding ruled my life when it was unconscious.

Attracting this pattern makes me question what type of energy am I broadcasting that makes others feel like they want to possess it.

Being vulnerable here, I am still working through this. But, radical presence and reflection brought me a perspective shift. Back to energetics—the feminine naturally attracts and magnetizes. As an embodied feminine being, I realized I’m simply on the receiving end of attention. This is a gift, I choose how to perceive and alchemize it.

When this isn’t reflected in divine masculine presence, I still don’t feel fully safe around men who express sexual attraction.

PSA: Expressing romantic attraction toward women is fine! We like it… but don’t try to change her mind if she clearly expresses that she’s not interested. If a woman likes you, you’ll know. It feels disrespectful to our boundaries when we have to keep saying no.

Radical Presence—Growth is Here for the Taking

When sitting in polarity, big areas of growth are revealed. The feminine couldn’t reveal these patterns to me because we match energetically, the feminine doesn’t pull forth my “wounding” anymore as I have worked through it on my journey to embodying sacred feminine energy (when sitting among other women, the feminine used to—there is continuous growth and love to experience in the presence of feminine energy). I needed the opposite but equal energy reflection of the masculine for growth.

To be reflected so clearly is a beautiful thing. But it’s also challenging. You want to cover yourself, as if standing naked before a crowd. The feeling of “oh, you actually see me” is so vulnerable, you’ll be tempted to shy away and miss the opportunity to reach yourself at those depths. This can only happen through radical presence and meeting on the soul level.

It’s both scary and exhilarating.

When someone meets you in radical presence, it’s an opportunity to be truly seen. The kicker? Your wounds are going to surface. Like, every time. But in the most beautiful way. This is an invitation to explore them in a safe presence.

Now, wounds surface all the time… but when you’re met on a soul level with someone, they have a way of transmuting… these aren’t the wounds that you’re aware of. It’s operating in your subconscious, just waiting to be called forward by the other’s presence.

If you’re not ready to face them, you might jump to emotionality or seeking distraction. But if you are ready to face them, they’re there for the taking.

How to Create This Connection

I mentioned earlier how I don’t feel safe in the presence of men who don’t embody divine masculine energy. Why? I’ve been on the brunt side of total rejection and manipulation when their idea of me doesn’t align with reality. My body doesn’t feel safe to access this place of authentically soul with most men… and it’s not just men, it also doesn’t feel safe to be around women who are acting from the place of wounded feminine. It doesn’t matter the person’s gender, soul connections will make you feel seen and challenge you to step into yourself further. They change your life.

If you desire deeply transformational friendships find the people you feel safe to be around. Safety is the first step to accessing the depths of self.

This feels like the ability to just be without judgement—there’s nothing to prove. You can sit in stillness together without your mind running a hundred miles an hour—fear doesn’t have a foothold. You don’t feel drained of energy after spending time together, in fact, you’re energized. You can be your full self: the silly, the serious, the philosophical, the emotional, the exuberant, the tired, and the entire spectrum of being that you naturally are.

How is this cultivated within self? Be the embodiment of love—sit in a place of love, so authentically within self, that you can’t help but be in a place of love together. This is what creates the safeness needed to explore those depths. It doesn’t feel safe to voice this side of self with curiosity when there is less than love.

You don’t always access this place immediately. It takes time getting to know someone and building the trust, safety, and genuine connection. This takes work by both parties, but man is it worth exploring… in whatever flavor it comes.

Further Reflection

I shared this experience with one of my best friends and her partner. He offered me a beautiful revelation: let the masculine hold and nourish me, let my guard down to be loved by the masculine.

In this exchange, I saw so many of my own shadows and self limiting beliefs surface. The masculine once again pulled forth an opportunity for soul growth.

Outside of my own work, I realized a deep reoccurrence in society in that moment: The feminine takes on the masculine role when this isn’t fulfilled in her life. Balance within is necessary for personal soul evolution, but in order to thrive, balance outside the body is also needed.

If you naturally lean into feminine energetics, having a supportive masculine presence in your life—not to take care of you, but to support and reflect back to you all that is possible within—is a vital key to self actualization. If you naturally lean into masculine energetics, having a nurturing feminine presence in your life—not to take care of you, but to soften your edges by reflecting back to you the love and grace within—is just as vital.

Let the masculine create the structure needed to support thriving. Let the feminine shine in all the ways she wants to be seen. Let the masculine give. Let the feminine surrender. In balance, let the feminine be the muse for life, let the masculine initiate action so that both can come together for creation. This is the divine dance.

We Initiate Each Other

A girlfriend reflected to me that I’ve often been initiated into deeper understanding of self through older, wiser men. But more so, I’ve been initiated by women from all walks of life. Time and time again, I realize that we initiate each other into the work. The deep work is done in partnership… not just romantic partnership, but friendship, mentorship, and companionship.

Due to the more ethereal embodiment of the feminine and the societal conditioning of what is acceptable for the masculine to be, women have had greater opportunity to connect inward to their spiritual and emotional body.

“Generally speaking, it is easier for a woman to feel and be in her body, so she is naturally closer to Being and potentially closer to enlightenment than a man. This is why many ancient cultures instinctively chose female figures or analogies to represent or describe the formless and transcendental reality. It was often seen as a womb that gives birth to everything in creation and sustains and nourishes it during its life as form.” — Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

Often, women initiate men into the work because we realize all the work we must do first, as we are the living embodiment of the repression of feminine energy. Once we are initiated, it’s our duty to reconnect to our wholeness.

Men without initiation can’t embody divine masculine energy. They have deeply repressed feminine energy. Because of the emphasis of society on masculinity, the feminine—the anima—within men is aching to be seen.

A step on my journey will be holding space for men to integrate their divine feminine and masculine energy. Why? I am an embodiment of the sacred feminine. I’ve cultivated safety within self. This is the kind of safety that enables the masculine to let their guard down. I’ve learned how to truly listen, to pause long enough for the masculine to reveal his truths.

Why am I sharing all this? (Seriously, I’m asking myself that too, this feels so very personal to be posted to the internet.) Because there is a great shift that is happening. We are all on the path of conscious evolution. And in that, both men and women need to step up and step further into integrity with their soul.

Back to balance and energetics, the feminine craves masculine presence and power. We thrive with it. But what is currently idolized as masculine in society is far off the mark of divine masculine energy. It takes the integration of the sacred feminine. Of each embodying these roles to call forth the other.

The world is hungry for expressed femininity, we see it displayed in a fractional way—not through the embodiment of the sacred feminine. More so than the expressed feminine, the world is literally starved of men in their true power. Masculinity has been just as repressed and repackaged as femininity.

We need support in coming back to wholeness. Wholeness is found through the primal embodiment of energy, living from the heart as a being of love, and integration of higher consciousness.

When we radically stand in our truth, we challenge others to stand in theirs.